2010 has finally arrived, but I'm not sure if I will miss 2009. It didn't start out so well, but it improved midway and ended in mediocrity. I lost a friend, but gained so much more than I could have ever imagined. They say that the LORD works in mysterious ways, well that certainly seems evident.

Not long ago I remember being in a rut, and while walking to my class I thought to myself that if God really loved me, he had to show me. Ironically, a ministry decided to reach out on the UT campus on that very day. Just a few seconds later a fellow Christian came up to me and gave me a flyer about God's love, with a large smile on his face as if he knew what I had just prayed. I was surprised to say the least, it doesn't get much clearer than that, but it still didn't have that much of an impact on me.

All throughout my life I've been told that God loves me, but it wasn't until a few days ago that I actually realized what that meant. I've been following religion too much and took tradition for granted, that's why I recently became non-denominational, I never really took that "leap of faith." Too long have I relied on myself for guidance, and trusted the relativity of others for my own understanding. A few days ago things finally "clicked" and I felt like the weight of the earth was lifted off of me, like I could handle anything the world threw at me. All it took was dwelling upon the passage "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?" -Luke 11:11. This passage helped me to realize that God really is like a father to me, and if I asked Him for silver, he would give me gold. Now that's love. I finally feel at peace and unchained from religion, if only my friends could feel the same way; seek Him and you will be happy. I know a lot of my friends have been struggling with heartbreak recently, it's because they are looking for the source of love in a relationship, I know because I fell victim to this too, it's destined to fail especially when you expect too much from someone. God is your source of love, you then share that with someone, not the other way around.

Last year seemed more like a year of maturity than anything. It was the year I discovered logic, philosophy, argument structure, and objectivity. It was also the year I started challenging my faith and developed a love for absolute truth. It all began with a dream I had of Heaven, I remember it quite vividly. I was in what seemed like a secluded forest; the sky resembled a crimson sunset, but there was no sun. In my dream I could actually feel, it felt like everything emitted a combination of royalty, comfort, and life; if I could put that feeling into a color it would be gold, I actually felt this color radiating from everything, like my senses were expanded, it was very peaceful and it actually felt like a kingdom. Imagine having a dream like that and not being inspired, lol. This dream alone led me to start challenging my accepted beliefs.

I will never let go of that dream I had, it will always be my motivation and inspiration to search for objective truth, absolutes, and cohesion to a ever degrading existence. It's strange that a blue moon falls on New Years. I once heard that the moon symbolizes life, so I would assume a blue moon must symbolize being born again. What an interesting year this will be indeed.

Oh yeah...Happy New Year 2010!!!

Our Neighborhood's Annual Fireworks Show

It's hard to accept sometimes, but everything happens for a reason, even the things that seem to defy all logic, or the things so minuscule that they go unnoticed. Yes, even the most painful and stressful of situations serves a purpose for the greater good. If a certain situation has us down, despite how terrible we may feel, we have to just realize that something better will happen to eclipse the situation; learning experiences are never what they seem to be, no matter what you think "could have been."

You never truly ruin what God has planned for you, He knew what you would choose and what you will choose all along, and you are just one step closer to fulfilling greatness, if you choose endure the hardship. Even diamonds had to be tested.